tap tap tap
by BrunetteWeasley13
Summary: Lily and Severus are best friends and her bedroom is their refuge from the rest of the world. Set in Lily's childhood bedroom. Different moments spanning different summers in the Hogwarts years.


**Author's Note: **I love Lily/ James. I promise. But I find the idea of Lily/Snape for a while so interesting. This is what happend with them but all from the point of Lily's muggle bedroom. Hope you enjoy it. Review please! :)

**Disclaimer: **Anything you recognize belongs to J.K Rowling... obviously. The plot and fluff= mine.

Lily Evans lay in her bed at her childhood home. She was sleeping soundly when there came a soft tap on her window.

tap. tap. tap.

She sat up slowly and looked around her dark room. She recognized the familiar sound. She swung her feet around the edge of the bed and padded to the window adjusting her pajama bottoms as she went. She undid the top latch and slid the window open allowing the boy on the other side to crawl through.

"Thanks, Lily." Her best friend, Severus, whispered.

"Are they fighting again?" she asked.

"Yeah… that's all they ever do." he replied.

Lily knew Severus had a bad family life and every time his parents had a row he would sneak over to her house and spend the night in her room. When they were younger, he was there almost every night. Now that they were older, both thirteen, he came less frequently. He had grown use to their shouts, but every once in a while when things got particularly bad, he would be back at her window tapping softly.

Severus's eyes moved around the familiar room. She had the same comforter with little pink flowers she had always had. The pictures on her wall had changed a bit. For one thing, they now moved having discovered wizard film. One picture was of her and her family with her sister sulking at her side. His eyes moved over the other pictures until he found his favorite one. She had her arm slung casually across his shoulder. The picture Lily was beaming out at him and his picture self smiled awkwardly but genuinely. He saw her stack of new school books. They would both be starting their fourth year at Hogwarts come September. She saw him eyeing her books and ready for a change of subject to break the silence she asked, "Have you got you supplies ready? If you don't, I'm going back to Diagon alley next week with my parents for a few more things if you want to come."

"Sure. Have you finished your charms homework yet?" From there they began an animated conversation about the upcoming school year. The conversation ended when Lily yawned.

"I think it's time we went to sleep or we will both be worn out in the morning," she suggested.

"You're right."

Lily pulled back her covers and crawled in moving to the other side of her double bed to make room for Severus. He climbed in after laying his head back on the pillow. When they were younger they fit perfectly, now that they had gotten older it seemed the bed had gotten smaller.

"Goodnight, Lily."

"'Night, Sev."

……….

Lily sat up in bed working on a particularly nasty essay. She had originally been determined to finish this essay before going to bed but it was already one and she was barley half way done. With the professors preparing them for there O.W.L. year, she was afraid she wouldn't have a minute of peace in her fifth year. While working, her mind began to wander to the "incident" at platform 9 ¾ . She had been calling it the "incident" in her mind because she didn't know what else to refer to it as. After riding the train home for the summer with Severus, when it came time to part and go to their separate houses, they hugged as usual. But when they pulled apart he kissed her. She didn't know what else to do so she just said, "oh, umm well bye then." She then walked away giving what had to be the most awkward wave ever. Lily cringed just thinking about the wave. She shut her book and rolled her essay up. There was no point in working anymore. She slid out of bed and changed into her sleep clothes. While changing, her mind stayed on Severus. She hadn't seen him since the kiss and awkward wave, granted it had only been a little over a week, but still that was a long time to go without seeing her best friend, especially since he was only a street away. But she had so many questions going through her mind. What did the kiss mean? Did he like her as more than a friend? She had thought for a while that he did. Would he try to kiss her when they saw each other again? Did she want him to? With a sigh she sat back down on her bed a pulled back the covers. Then she heard that old familiar sound.

tap. tap. tap.

She jumped up then froze in place. Crap. Was she ready for this? She forced herself to move to the window and slip it open. Severus climbed in and the two friends stared at each other for a moment.

He spoke first. "Hey, Lily. Umm I just wanted to apologize for the whole ummm train station thing. I don't know what I was thinking…. I… I…"

"It's ok," she interrupted. "It's not a big deal. Um well I was just going to bed so…"

"Oh, ok." He moved to her closet.

"What are doing?"

"I was going to get a blanket. I'll need it for the floor."

"Oh, ok"

Lily turned back to bed to keep herself hide her red face. They were too old to share a bed. How silly to think other wise. And after that kiss it would be inappropriate. Wouldn't it? Yes. Yes. It would. God, when did being around her best friend make her so flustered. She climbed in bed while Severus put down a blanket.

"Hey, Lily. Could you toss me a pillow please?"

Lily sat back up and reached for her extra pillow. She looked down at Severus. There was no way he would be comfortable down there.

"Why don't you just come up here? I don't mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Severus got up off the floor leaving the blanket behind. As he bent down to pull back the corner of the tiny flowered comforter, Lilly leaned forward to do the same, and they bumped noses.

"Oh."

"Sorry, sorry."

They stared at each other for a minute in silence then suddenly they were kissing. They kissed for several minutes then Lily pulled back panting slightly. Severus grinned at her stupidly. She grinned back blushing. She scooted over so he could finish climbing in bed. When he had settled in she moved closer and snuggled up against him. After a few minutes Severus whispered into the dark, "I love you, Lily." No response came. He looked down, but she was already asleep.

……….

Lily finally escaped to her room locking the door behind her. Christmas with the family hadn't been very enjoyable since she started Hogwarts. Her sister never forgave her for being different. Whenever they were together Lily could feel the cold hatred radiating from her. Her parents tried their best to still make the holidays cheerful but their efforts were wasted. When Lily began explaining to her parents the importance of her up coming O.W.L.S in the spring, Petunia left the room in a huff. Lily took off her Christmas party dress and slipped into an old cotton t-shirt and red sleep pants. She moved to her dresser and began brushing out her long auburn hair. Her favorite picture caught her eye. The picture was if her and Severus. She wished she would spend Christmas with him. And she thought she probably would. His parents always fought on Christmas. The holidays seemed to bring out the worst in them. She sat down on her bed to wait for him. Their relationship was complicated. They weren't officially together but they were always together, and they still kissed occasionally and sometimes a little more. They had never went further than a little groping over the clothes. They weren't friends with benefits that would be too crude a term. They were happy and comfortable with each other and that was the best explanation for what they were. Of course recently Severus had become better aquatinted with the members of his own house, Slytherin. Lily didn't like to judge, but it was true that there had never been a witch or wizard go bad that wasn't in Slytherin. She was afraid they would suck Severus into their crowd, which if the rumors were true was no good.

tap. tap. tap.

Lily moved to the window and opened it up so Severus could slip inside.

"Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas, Lily. I brought us something to celebrate with." Severus pulled a bottle of wine out of his coat. Lily smiled at Severus. They popped the bottle open, sat down on the floor, and began drinking and talking. When the bottle was finished Lily stood to get into bed. She stumbled a little and giggled at the sight of Severus stumbling as he stood up too.

"Maybe we shouldn't have drank the whole bottle!" Lily hiccupped.

"I think you are right, love." Severus laughed,

Lily blushed at the term of endearment and moved toward Severus snaking her arms around his neck. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly. He had grown much taller and if she was being honest he was quite handsome in his own way. He placed his hands on her lower back and looked into her sparkling green eyes. Lily pulled away slowly. "Ok time for bed."

They both settled into the familiar bed, and Lily moved closer to Severus placing her head on his chest. She moved her hand upward and traced circles on his chest. He sighed in response to her touch. She titled her chin up, and he moved his head down to kiss her. They kissed and kissed. She ran her tongue against the outside of his lips. He parted his lips and their tongues began a dance for dominance. She rolled over onto her back and pulled Severus by his shirt so that he was nestled between her legs. They continued their assaults on each others mouths. Lily lifted her hands to run though his hair and down his back. She felt a building warmth and slight pressure in her lower abdomen. She had felt a similar feeling when kissing Severus before but never this intense. She was inexperienced but not stupid; she knew what it mean. She just didn't know what exactly to do about it. She rolled her hips upward experimentally against his to help ease the pressure. He groaned dropping his head to her shoulder when her body grazed his growing erection. He began kissing her collar bone. She moved her hands down to the edge of his shirt and pulled it up. The t-shirt got stuck at his head and Severus had to sit up to take it off himself. Lily stayed where she was until he moved back on top of her.

"Sorry," she mumbled into his neck.

"Don't be."

They began passionately kissing again but now Lily could rub her hands up and down his smooth chest without interruption. She would glance down occasionally to look at his body. He wasn't muscular and was a little on the skinny side but still nice. He was her Sev. She noticed a line of hair trailing out of his pants right at button. She was thankful he recaptured her mouth, so he was too preoccupied to see her blush. She felt his fingertips brush against her stomach and move up and under her shirt. She flinched away, and he immediately withdrew his hand and jerked up into a sitting position. She followed suit.

"God, Lily, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she echoed back to him. "I'm just a little nervous." The red wine was making her head spin. She moved her hands down to the edge of her t-shirt and pulled it over her head tossing it aside. She heard Severus's sharp intake of breath. She wasn't wearing a bra since she was ready for bed, so now she was half naked in front of her best friend for the first time. He moved toward her and moved his hand to her neck then ran it through her long hair. He looked up onto her sparkling eyes.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered. He kissed her again and moved a slow hand up to her breasts. She moaned against his lips when his fingertips ghosted across her nipples. He moved his lips down her throat to her collar bone moving ever closer until he enveloped one of her nipples with his mouth. After a few moments, he moved to the other one. She arched her back against him involuntarily. All she knew was that she needed to be closer to him. He continued to kiss her body . He moved back up toward her mouth and then after placing a kiss on her already swollen lips he moved back to look at her face. Her face was flushed and her eyes were dark with desire but still rimmed with a little uncertainty.

"Lie back down."

She did as he asked moving her head back down to the pillow and flattening her body against the bed. He moved down beside her. He nuzzled his face against her neck and kissed all her sensitive spots. He kept one hand on her stomach, but Lily noticed that his hand was moving closer and closer to the waist band of her sleep pants. She felt his fingers move under the band of her pants and underwear. When his fingers reached her soft curls, she felt him pause but only for a moment. He moved his face back to her face and kissed her. He fingers moved further south and when he began to move his hand experimentally he brushed her most sensitive spot. She arched up off the bed. He noticed her reaction and moved back to the spot. She moaned and writhed beneath his hand. He loved the way he was making her feel. He moved his hand down just a bit more and felt his finger slide inside her. She gasped. He was surprised at how wet and hot she was. Did he do that? He sure hoped he did. He slowly moved his finger in and out. She whimpered against him. He alternated between moving in and out of her and going back to the spot he found early. He kept his eyes on her face to gage her reaction to his movements. After a while, she gave a soft cry and he felt her tense then relax with a sigh. He removed his hands knowing that she was finished.

She stayed were she was for a few minutes then looked at him smiling shyly. She then slowly moved her small hands to the front of his pants fumbling at the button. While trying to undo the top, her hands bumped against him several times and he groaned. She succeeded in unbuttoning his pants and began trying to push them down his hips. His hand grabbed hers, and she looked up catching his eyes.

"Lily, are you sure?"

"Yes, Sev. I trust you."

She pushed his pants and underwear the rest of the way down his hips. She moved her hands to his erection and began to stroke it softly. She was surprised at how soft and hard it felt at the same time. The skin was silky but she could feel the muscle twitching in her hand. She gripped it harder applying a little more pressure and began to move her hand up and down. He moaned into her neck and kissed her face.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

She released him and moved her hands down to her pajamas and underwear pushing them down her legs and kicking them off somewhere under the covers. He placed one arm on either side of her body and held his weight above her. She opened her legs and bent her knees up slightly. She felt his tip brush across her entrance. The heat of their bodies intertwined. She moved her hand between them and guided him to her entrance and slowly he thrust his hips forward. At first all she felt was pain. He noticed her face crinkle up.

"We can stop."

"No just stay still for a moment."

The pain subsided and all she felt was a nice warmth and fullness. She gazed back up at him giving him the go ahead. He slowly began to move inside. He rocked back and forth, and she rolled her hips up to meet his. Soon they created a rhythm, and they both began to breath heavily. She could tell he was close. He gasped her name and then shuddered slightly. He then slowly moved his body back down beside her. They waited in silence for a few minutes waiting for their breathing to slow.

"Lily, you are amazing. I'm sorry it wasn't… you know any good for you," he spoke into the darkness.

"No, Sev. It was perfect."

……….

Lily couldn't sleep. She just kept staring at the ceiling. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this angry. But even worse than the anger was the sadness creeping in behind it. Every day her anger diminished somewhat but the sadness just became stronger filling in the gaps left behind. She couldn't remember feeling this empty since her grandfather died.

Lily sighed and pushed herself into a sitting position wiping her tired eyes. There was no use going down that road. Why was it whenever she was sad could she only think of other depressing things? A few weeks had already passed , but she still felt a burning sensation in the pit of her stomach whenever she thought of Severus. He was supposed to be her best friend. She trusted him, and he obviously didn't care. If he had cared, he would have controlled his mouth. Actually it wasn't even an issue of control. That filthy word should have never even came to his mind unless it was how he actually felt. All of her dorm mates were right. They tried to warn her. She had heard the rumors herself. Why didn't she listen and spare herself this torture?

She climbed out of bed and moved to her dresser examining herself in the mirror. She looked a wreck. She picked up her brush and began attempting to fix her tangle of a hair. Then her once favorite picture caught her eyes. She stared at the picture a moment. She looked so carefree. He looked well slightly flustered to be so close to her but very happy. If someone had stopped her then and told her what she would be feeling now, she would have never believed it. She grabbed the picture off the wall and ripped it violently to shreds. The sheds fell to the floor as tears streamed down her face. Her sixth year would be different. She could make new friends. She just had to make it through this summer alone.

……

tap. tap. tap.

Lily awoke with a start. She though she had heard a tap on her window, a sound she never wanted to hear again and thought she never would. After all the rows with Severus that took up more than enough time of her sixth year, she was surprised he would have the nerve. She had clearly moved on. She had found a friend in her fellow Gryffindor, Alice. She had even began to hang out with the self proclaimed marauders. James and Sirius had stopped their stupid stunts and were actually quite charming, and she had always liked Remus. James had stopped his bombardment of come ons. He obviously still liked her though. He had actually just sent her some very pretty lilies to wish her a happy summer. But that was besides the point…. Besides, she had made it clear to Severus many, many times that she wasn't interested in his meaningless apologies.

tap. tap. tap.

Damn it. hh really was there, but she wasn't going to give in.

Band. Bang. Bang.

Lily moved toward the window and threw it open.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Do you want to wake the entire neighborhood? Are you bloody insane?"

"I really want to talk to you. Please just listen," Severus pleaded with her.

"Why should I listen now? I'm surprised you didn't pull this stunt last summer."

"I wanted to give you time to cool off so you could hear my apology at school, but that obviously didn't work so I'm trying again."

"I am not interested. You are only sorry that I am mad at you. You don't care at all about what you did."

"That's not true, Lily!" He was panicking now.

"Do you still hang around with Mulciber and Avery?"

He didn't answer her. He only stared past her into her room. His eyes fixed coldly on something behind her. She turned around and surveyed her room then turned back to the open window.

"What are you staring at?" she asked.

"Lilies… humph very original. Did Potter send those to you?" he sneered.

"Yes, and they are my favorite flower. Wait! Why am I even discussing this with you?"

His eyes darted across her face then locked in on hers.

"Does he know why they are your favorite?"

"Why in the world would that matter?" Lily asked the edge in her voice dropping slightly as she wondered where he was going with this.

"It matters a lot actually. He bought you lilies to be clever because its your name," Severus accused. "But they are your favorite not because of your name. They're your favorite because your grandfather use to bring them to you before he passed. 'A lily for my Lily' he would always say." Lily just stared at him gaping slightly, but he continued on. "He doesn't' know you like I know you, Lily. I've been there. I understand."

"If you really understood me," she cut across him coming back to her senses. "You would understand why I don't want to see you."

"Lily, seriously, that's not me. You know it's not."

He stuck his left arm on her window sill making the motion to climb into her room. She grabbed his arm to stop him and when she did he flinched. They both froze neither of them moving an inch. In a flash Lily, grabbed his wrist and pushed up his shirt while turning to reveal his forearm. There on his pale skin was the mark of the beast, a ghastly skull with a snake slithering from its gaping mouth. Lily dropped his wrist and backed into her room.

"Oh my God," she gasped.

"It… it's not what you think. It doesn't mean what you think!" he sputtered.

She moved back toward him grabbing her wand from her bedside table and brandishing it in his face.

"I know exactly what it means," she hissed, fire blazing in her emerald eyes. "It means that I never want you to speak to me ever, ever again."

He backed away slowly his hands up in surrender. She slammed the window shut. She spun around and stood where she was with her back to the window. Slowly her wand slipped from her finger tips, and she watched it roll across the floor. She moved back to her tiny flower comforter covered bed and crawled under the blankets. She pulled her knees to her chest and hugged herself while she sobbed her heart out.

……….

Severus Snape had just graduated from Hogwarts and had returned to his childhood home for what he hoped would be the last time to pick up his remaining belongings. The sun was just setting as he finished packing. He flicked his wand to transport his belongings to his new home. As he was about to apparate away as well, he realized there was one more thing he needed to do.

He made his way outside and trekked the familiar path one street over to house he loved more than his own. He stopped outside the same old window and moved to peer inside. She wasn't inside. He knew she wouldn't be. She had moved in with the Potters already. She was engaged. He felt sick just thinking about it. Even though so much had changed, the room still looked the same. The same sheets and blanket dotted with tiny flowers covered the bed. The same family pictures covered the wall. One thing however was missing. His favorite picture was gone. In it's place was a new picture. She had her arms around another man. They were both smiling brightly and the small picture Lily kept moving her hand from Potter's shoulder to wave the ring on her left hand at the camera. He felt his heart break. Slowly, in a familiar motion her moved his fingers to the glass.

tap. tap. tap.

The window would never open for him again. He dropped his hand and turned his back on the room, the window, the house, and the memories.

**Author's Note:** Ok so Snape wouldn't have become a death eater in his 6th year... Draco did so I took some liberties. I tried to make it cannonish. Keeping the origianl story true while tweaking along the way. One more quick disclaimer... the lily being your favorite flower thing... I borrowed that basic idea from Radio Free Roscoe. The main girl's name is Lily and when her boyfriend buys her lilies her best friend/ guy who secretly loves her pulls the same thing Snape did. Except this Lily loved them because they grew on the grave of her hamster. Review Please. :) I love them and never get many.


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